


Healing

by pommene



Series: Gate of the Abyss (mmorpg au) [2]
Category: Ensemble Stars! (Video Game)
Genre: "cant be read as platonic" natsumugi so, M/M, Oops, brief oddball mentions, i accidentally made the beginning kinda angsty, i know i went soft on the ei wata with the last one but, it gets better tho, mmorpg au, this one is like
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-11
Updated: 2020-01-11
Packaged: 2021-02-27 08:35:05
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,989
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22194163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pommene/pseuds/pommene
Summary: Natsume struggles with the Oddballs's downfall and his new guildmates help him rebuild himself (and then some).
Relationships: Aoba Tsumugi/Sakasaki Natsume
Series: Gate of the Abyss (mmorpg au) [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1597498
Comments: 1
Kudos: 29





	Healing

**Author's Note:**

> I didn't expect to write Switch next but all these words slammed me at once in class and I had to
> 
> I don't really know how to write for Switch, so I hope I did them justice, especially since I took a very different approach to this one than the first one. 
> 
> I love Natsumugi so much oops

It started almost immediately after the Oddballs became the #1 guild.

The hatred. The resentment.

All towards them.

They had power now, Rei said, they had power and influence and people didn't like that. They were jealous.

They didn't know who started it or why, but rumors spread. Nasty things talking bad about the guild as a whole or individual members-- anything to make them sound bad.

Sure, once or twice they may have stolen another guild's quest or attacked other players, but those were accidents.

People didn't seem to care.

His guildmates held him back from retaliating anytime someone said something awful in the world chat or attacked without reason. It would only hurt our reputation further, they said. Natsume knew they were right, but it still hurt him to watch as people slandered his friends, to call them cruel or evil or monsters. 

Besides, part of him _longed_ to prove them right.

\--

The War was supposed to go just like the previous year's had. Get to the finals, win, be on top again, be perfect. They had known people would be especially keen to destroy them but no one's names stuck out. No threat had any real power behind it.

Natsume will admit he was a little angry that day, and that his anger may have caused him to make a few mistakes, but it shouldn't have mattered; he was the best mage in the game.

Until he wasn't.

Until they were in the finals and Natsume watched as the enemy mage blasted away his friends while everyone ganged up on them one at a time.

He quickly realized that his friends were trying to stop Natsume from getting attacked, and he hated how powerless he felt when nothing he could do stopped his opponents. Their healer was faster and stronger, healing any damage Natsume dealt almost instantly. He couldn't do anything but wait his turn.

It came eventually, though it was much less severe than his friends' had been.

It took ten minutes for the Oddballs to be reduced nothing. The defeat screen shone brightly in Natsume's face and he gripped his mouse hard enough to hear a crack.

 _It was nothing_ , he thought, _one loss is nothing. Nothing. This doesn't change anything._

After the War, everything changed. The Oddballs stopped talking as much, and though the rumors stopped, the harassment hardly did.

They only lasted another month before Rei recommended they go their separate ways. It was best for them, he said, if they left the Oddballs behind.

Wataru agreed, after all, it seemed as though they were cursed as is.

It wasn't helping anyone, everyone seemed hurt by the Oddballs continued existence, Kanata said.

Shu was silent, though he'd been silent since the War. No one thought he'd object.

Natsume felt so alone in that moment. The best part of his life was ending and still he couldn't do anything.

He yelled, though his cats were the only ones who could hear him, he yelled and fought and maybe cried and it did nothing.

The Oddballs seperated, some finding new guilds immediately, some stayed logged off for a long, long time.

\--

When Natsume felt ready to make a new guild he made it with a kid he'd played with a few times. The two of them, Natsume and Sora, until an unexpected third came along.

Switch was not the place for an ex- _fine_ to go, but somehow Tsumugi found it anyway.

Things didn't get better and Natsume knew he was to blame. He couldn't let go, he couldn't, no matter what he tried.

He didn't hate Tsumugi. Really he didn't. He couldn't-- Tsumugi was so hard to hate.

He hated the memories he associated with Tsumugi. Everytime Natsume saw his avatar or his stupid name-- bluebird♪-- he remembered the old _fine_ and the Oddballs and how bad things had ended for them. He remembered the things he tried to make himself forget, and it hurt, and Natsume hated him for that.

Sora tried so hard to keep the guild together and to stop the fighting. If it wasn't for Sora, Natsume would've disbanded the guild long ago. He felt so bad for Sora; he didn't join Switch for this, for the other two members to tear each other apart (each other was a lie, it was wholly one-sided. Tsumugi never retaliated or defended himself no matter how much Natsume wished he would) more than they actually played the game.

Despite all that Sora never complained.

Natsume cringed when he thought about it, _he deserves better than this. He seems like such a good kid._

Whenever he saw his former guildmates, Natsume knew they'd made the right choice. They were all so happy now, they'd all grown.

And Natsume was still stuck in the past.

It shouldn't have bothered him. Tsumugi never brought up _fine_ or the Oddballs or anything else about his time in Gate of the Abyss before joining Switch. He'd even reclassed himself from mage to healer in an attempt to leave the old _fine_ behind.

All the tension in Switch was Natsume's fault, and he knew it.

\--

He hadn't meant to start venting in the personal Switch chat, really. He was just so angry and it happened so fast and Sora had this presence that made Natsume want to tell him all his secrets. He didn't even consider that he wasn't chatting with Sora directly and that Tsumugi could see everything he was saying. He didn't think about it because at that moment, getting everything off his chest just felt so good, even if a few real life problems slipped their way into his rant.

When Natsume finished he didn't wait for Sora's response. He ran his hands through his hair and gave a deep sigh because he felt so relieved. He'd said things he hadn't even said to the Oddballs (who he'd started absent-mindedly calling his brothers, trying to seperate them from their past) to Sora and a wave of happiness danced its way through his fingertips-- a kind of magic Natsume hadn't felt in a while.

He went for a walk and left his phone at home. Maybe a break from it all was what he needed.

So he didn't know that Sora had immediately replied or that Tsumugi had apologized for everything (as he always did) or that the two were blowing up his notifications.

On his walk, Natsume noticed that things felt brighter and clearer. Maybe the curse on him had finally been lifted. Maybe he was free again.

He hadn't realized how similar he'd become to those people who'd tormented the Oddballs, filled with hate and resentment and regret that boiled and bubbled beneath the surface all towards someone who didn't deserve the abuse.

\--

He delayed checking his notifications for a while when he got home. Part of him wasn't ready to see the replies he'd received, but a larger, more bitter part of him was worried that he'd be met with pity.

He didn't know what he wanted, but it definitely wasn't _pity_.

15 minutes of avoiding everything later and Natsume couldn't take it anymore. He had to scroll up a lot of text to get to the beginning, but he started reading.

 **hihasora** : natsume!! soras glad you told us!!

 **hihasora** : sora thinks natsumes been holding this in for a long time

 **hihasora** : soras not very good at this kind of this but!! if natsume ever needs anything!! we'll be there for you!!

 **hihasora** : sora cares about natsume a lot you see ☆

 **bluebird♪** : Natsume... I'm sorry. I know I did bad things and that I hurt you a lot and I'm sorry. I thought I could help you. I've been very selfish lately. You've helped me out so much and I didn't know you were dealing with all this. I couldn't even see that you were hurting. I'm sorry, I know I'm useless. But, Natsume, I don't want to hurt you. I care about you, and I want you to be happy. If me leaving the guild would make you happier then I'll gladly leave. I care about you a lot. You mean more to me than I can say, Natsume. 

**bluebird♪** : And Sora is right, if you ever need us or want to talk, we'll always be willing to listen to you.

Natsume may have been crying a bit. The magic that'd been in his fingertips earlier worked its way up his arms and throughout his body, making him feel like he was flying.

A couple hours later, a few more messages appeared in the chat.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : Thank you SoRA, Ill be sure to reach out moRE. I care about you very much as weLL. 

**☆"*natsume*"☆** : And MopheAD. 

**☆"*natsume*"☆** : I dont want you to leAVE, idiOT.

\--

Natsume _did_ start reaching out more. Theres was a point he'd reached with his brothers where they were comfortable sharing pretty much anything, and Natsume felt as though he was reaching that point with Sora.

Tsumugi was another story. Natsume had... strange feelings about Tsumugi. He'd gotten so worried that the mophead would leave the guild when he offered, but he'd only ever felt that when... the Oddballs were talking about disbanding.

He couldn't care that much for Tsumugi and yet, the feeling was the same in a way. There was something different about it that Natsume couldn't place. Maybe it was because he'd loved his brothers, and he didn't love Tsumugi.

Still, the tension in Switch slowly lifted, as did Natsume's anger. Switch was finally becoming the guild Natsume had meant it to be-- a happy guild full of magic of all kinds.

Sometimes, when he found himself talking with the other two, he forgot about everything else.

He finally felt like his wounds were healing.

\--

Another War came and went before Natsume finally made a realization.

The name _fine_ no longer made him mad.

The memories of the Oddballs no longer filled him with sorrow.

Hearing whispers of the old rumors no linger filled him with a poisonous spite or malice. 

He'd grown, just as his brothers had.

\--

Natsume made another realization a year later, after an online friend and their guild had won the War.

He cared about Tsumugi. The feeling he had towards his brothers wasn't the same one he'd felt toward Tsumugi because they were different, but both feelings were love. Even the love he felt for Sora was different.

He took a deap breath and started typing.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I need to talk to you boTH.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : Its urgeNT.

 **bluebird♪** : Are you okay?

 **hihasora** : is natsume feeling bad? natsumes color doesnt seem bad

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : NO, I am not feeling bAD. I am doing quite well actuaLLY.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I just have something to sAY. And you might as well screenshot it because I wont say it agaIN.

He would say it again, probably. But he had a reputation to uphold.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I love you both very muCH.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : SorA, I cannot explain how happy you make mE. You have a magic all your oWN. If you ever need somethiNG, please tell mE. I will always be here for yOU.

 **hihasora** :!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **hihasora** : sora is very happy! sora loves natsume too with all his heart!

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : MopheAD.

Another deep breath. This was the hard part.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I care about yOU. I know I dont say iT, but I dO.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : So much that I think your magic is different to any Ive known befoRE.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I think theres a name for this type of magIC, but it is hard for me to sAY.

 **☆"*natsume*"☆** : I love you, Tsumugi.

Natsume didn't hide his phone fast enough to miss Tsumugi's reply.

 **bluebird♪** : We must be tied by the strings of fate, Natsume! I love you, too.

Fate...

He thanked whatever powers he could then and, for the first time, thanked the old _fine_ for bringing Tsumugi to Switch.

He thanked fate for giving him Switch. 


End file.
